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 Oil Change.

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SoulRat
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PostSubject: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:14 pm

Instructions for Women :

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.


2) Drink a cup of coffee.


3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.


Money spent:


Oil Change: $20.


Coffee: $1.


Total: $21.


==========

Instructions for Men:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.


2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.


3) Open a beer and drink it.


4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.


5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.


6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.


7) Place drain pan under engine.


8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.


9) Give up and use crescent wrench.


10) Unscrew drain plug.


11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.


12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.


13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.


14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.


15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.


16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.


17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.


18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.


19) Remember drain plug from step 11.


20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.


21) Drink beer.


22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.


23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.


24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.


25) Begin cussing fit.


26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.


27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.


28) Beer.


29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.


30) Beer.


31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.


32) Beer.


33) Lower car from jack stands.


34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.


35) Beer.


36) Test drive car.


37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.


38) Car gets impounded.


39) Call loving wife, make bail.


40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.


Money spent:
Parts: $50.


DUI: $2500.


Impound fee: $75.


Bail: $1500.


Beer: $20.


Total: $4,145.


Knowing the job was done right - PRICELESS!
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TG
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:26 pm

hahaha. Somehow I'm thinking the women might be a bit smarter.... Big Smile
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catbox_9
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:34 pm

LOL.

I just let my dad change my oil.

He claims it takes $4 worth of supplies. I've watched him do it - it takes him 15 minutes at the most. No swearing needed - and he swears a lot whistle

And where do you get your oil changed for $20?! My mom spends $30 when she does it.


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SoulRat
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:40 pm

I think that is my husband explained above LMAO

Actually, an oil change around here is like $15 whistle
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catbox_9
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:43 pm

$15 Stunned

WOW! That's cheap. I changed my oil once - my dad made me learn how. It wasn't all that hard but I'll never do it again. Why do something you could pay someone else to do for you?


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SoulRat
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:45 pm

Nod For the longest time it was more like $12 Stunned

I totally agree, pay the damn 15 bucks Nod

My dad does his own, but I think he does it more like that man up there ^^ too LMAO
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catbox_9
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:49 pm

I can't believe it's only $15 there. It's twice that here. Then again everything is cheaper there. I bought gas the other day for just $3.75 a gallon. I was driving home and I saw regular unleaded advertised for $4.03. Mind you that's higher than most anywhere, but $3.75 is as cheap as I could get puke


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SoulRat
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:06 pm

Yeah most things are cheaper here, gas is around 3.40 Neutral
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catbox_9
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:13 pm

That's pretty cheap for gas.


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SoulRat
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:09 pm

Yeah, it's not too bad. The highest I've seen it was last summer at 3.89
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catbox_9
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:14 pm

I remember when I first got my license 5 years ago I was complaining at gas prices...

"It's going to be $2 a gallon someday - you watch!"

I'd be dancing in the street if gas was $2.00


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SoulRat
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PostSubject: Re: Oil Change.   Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:17 pm

LMAO me too! PARTY!
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