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 Blonde Jokes

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TG
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:08 pm

I'm not finding these very funny..... My brother made fun of me for being blonde my whole life, and HE's blonde too!
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 01, 2008 11:31 am

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 01, 2008 11:32 am

What did the blonde say when she opened up a box of cheerio's?


Oh, a box of doughnut seeds!
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 01, 2008 11:32 am

A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades.
She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.

With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp.

Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.

The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back.

Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out, "Dang, this one's barefoot too!"
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 01, 2008 11:34 am

Two blonde girls were walking down the street in California.
One says to the other " I wonder which one is closer, the moon or Florida?"

The other one says " Duh You can see the moon"
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 01, 2008 5:13 pm

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:
Two blonde girls were walking down the street in California.
One says to the other " I wonder which one is closer, the moon or Florida?"

The other one says " Duh You can see the moon"

LMAO that sounds like something I would say... Big Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Fri May 02, 2008 1:56 am

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:
Two blonde girls were walking down the street in California.
One says to the other " I wonder which one is closer, the moon or Florida?"

The other one says " Duh You can see the moon"

LMAO
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Mon May 05, 2008 3:16 pm

Hey I'm a blonde. Big Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Mon May 05, 2008 4:21 pm

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:
Two blonde girls were walking down the street in California.
One says to the other " I wonder which one is closer, the moon or Florida?"

The other one says " Duh You can see the moon"

omg LMAO
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed May 21, 2008 12:58 am

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.

I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, 'Now you stay. Do you hear me?'

'Stay! Stay!'

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said, 'Why don't you just put it in park?
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed May 21, 2008 12:58 am

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, "This is the WORST book I've ever read!"
"It has NO plot and far too many characters!"

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks, "So, you're the one who took our phone book."
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed May 21, 2008 12:59 am

My sister was driving down the road when a pickup truck abruptly stopped in front of her.
She stepped on the brakes, but ended up hitting the truck.

Both vehicles pulled over to the side of the road and as she was getting out of her car, a dwarf got out of the truck walked up to her and said "I am not Happy!"

My sister then asked, "Well, then which one are you then?"

That's when the fight started.
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed May 21, 2008 1:01 am

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy ... it's W."
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed May 21, 2008 7:37 am

Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed May 21, 2008 11:09 am

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:
A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, "This is the WORST book I've ever read!"
"It has NO plot and far too many characters!"

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks, "So, you're the one who took our phone book."

LMAO


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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed May 21, 2008 11:10 am

TigersGirl wrote:
Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....

:haha:


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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Wed May 21, 2008 6:13 pm

catbox_9 wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....

:haha:

seriously! My mom is letting me dye it any "natural shade", but my dad wants me to dye it purple, green, or blue.... LMAO
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 1:02 pm

TigersGirl wrote:
catbox_9 wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....

:haha:

seriously! My mom is letting me dye it any "natural shade", but my dad wants me to dye it purple, green, or blue.... LMAO

Might as well compromise. Mix blue and brown dyes and see what you get.


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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 2:09 pm

Or do what a friend of mine did...she dyed her hair a really dark brown, then put red and purple streaks in it....that looked kinda cool!
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 3:07 pm

Mine is black and red whistle
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 3:19 pm

tiger Sexy, I bet
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 4:22 pm

:haha: The husband likes it whistle
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 5:06 pm

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:
Or do what a friend of mine did...she dyed her hair a really dark brown, then put red and purple streaks in it....that looked kinda cool!

that would be cool... lol. But now my mom is going back on what she said and is like "nooo, you can't dye it because then when you want to go back to blonde your roots will look stupid...
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 5:34 pm

Don't forget to dye your eyebrows, too!


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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 7:30 pm

TigersGirl wrote:
catbox_9 wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....

:haha:

seriously! My mom is letting me dye it any "natural shade", but my dad wants me to dye it purple, green, or blue.... LMAO

whistle I've dyed my hair purple before...
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 8:12 pm

TigerLily wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
catbox_9 wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....

:haha:

seriously! My mom is letting me dye it any "natural shade", but my dad wants me to dye it purple, green, or blue.... LMAO

whistle I've dyed my hair purple before...

I would do like streaks of colors... But never all an insane color.
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 10:30 pm

TigersGirl wrote:
TigerLily wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
catbox_9 wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....

:haha:

seriously! My mom is letting me dye it any "natural shade", but my dad wants me to dye it purple, green, or blue.... LMAO

whistle I've dyed my hair purple before...

I would do like streaks of colors... But never all an insane color.

Well my hair's so dark it's nearly black, so the purple ended up being more of a plum (especially if I was in the sunlight)... but my mom didn't like it, so I washed it out (it as a temp dye, washed out in two weeks-- best stuff ever).
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 10:35 pm

TigerLily wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
TigerLily wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
catbox_9 wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....

:haha:

seriously! My mom is letting me dye it any "natural shade", but my dad wants me to dye it purple, green, or blue.... LMAO

whistle I've dyed my hair purple before...

I would do like streaks of colors... But never all an insane color.

Well my hair's so dark it's nearly black, so the purple ended up being more of a plum (especially if I was in the sunlight)... but my mom didn't like it, so I washed it out (it as a temp dye, washed out in two weeks-- best stuff ever).

My hair is very, very blonde. So if I did it purple it would be like BRIGHT
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Thu May 22, 2008 11:07 pm

TigersGirl wrote:
TigerLily wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
TigerLily wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
catbox_9 wrote:
TigersGirl wrote:
Rolling Eyes I should dye my hair....

:haha:

seriously! My mom is letting me dye it any "natural shade", but my dad wants me to dye it purple, green, or blue.... LMAO

whistle I've dyed my hair purple before...

I would do like streaks of colors... But never all an insane color.

Well my hair's so dark it's nearly black, so the purple ended up being more of a plum (especially if I was in the sunlight)... but my mom didn't like it, so I washed it out (it as a temp dye, washed out in two weeks-- best stuff ever).

My hair is very, very blonde. So if I did it purple it would be like BRIGHT

http://www.amphigory.com/se_atomic_pink.html whistle

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Blonde Jokes   Fri May 23, 2008 10:31 am

I like the first one on that page.... It looks f course then I probably wouldn't live long enough for anyone to see it.... Neutral
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