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 Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!

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mrsrabelo
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PostSubject: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Sun Oct 21, 2007 5:48 pm

Ok so these aren't technically jokes but they are funny!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
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iluvpudge7
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Sun Oct 21, 2007 5:54 pm

LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO applaud applaud applaud applaud applaud
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tigersaint
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Sun Oct 21, 2007 7:02 pm

Funny!!
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Sun Oct 21, 2007 7:20 pm

lol! lol!
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tigersaint
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Sun Oct 21, 2007 8:26 pm

I've heard many of those before. Can't remember where though!! scratch
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Mon Oct 22, 2007 12:34 am

tigersaint wrote:
I've heard many of those before. Can't remember where though!! scratch

That's because they were told to YOU in a bar somewhere! lol2
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iluvpudge7
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Mon Oct 22, 2007 12:37 am

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:
tigersaint wrote:
I've heard many of those before. Can't remember where though!! scratch

That's because they were told to YOU in a bar somewhere! lol2

ROFL ROFL
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tigersaint
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Mon Oct 22, 2007 1:58 pm

Ohios#1TigerFan lol2 tigersaint
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Mon Oct 22, 2007 4:30 pm

LMAO Real cute there, Saint! But you just KNEW I wasn't gonna leave that alone! LOL
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tigersaint
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Mon Oct 22, 2007 11:13 pm

That's because I "Gift Wrapped" it for ya!!
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tigersaint
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Mon Oct 22, 2007 11:13 pm

714 Posts!!

I'm "Ruthian"!!!!!
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catbox_9
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:35 am

That's why my pickup lines don't work...


Coming Soon: A better signature!
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tigersaint
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:19 pm

catbox_9 wrote:
That's why my pickup lines don't work...

Mine neither!! I just use a club!! lol2
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Wed Oct 24, 2007 1:14 am

tigersaint wrote:
catbox_9 wrote:
That's why my pickup lines don't work...

Mine neither!! I just use a club!! lol2

So easy, a Caveman can do it! lol2
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:12 pm

A wife standing in front of the mirror said to her husband, "I feel fat and ugly, give me a compliment."

He said, "You have perfect eyesight".
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:16 pm

One day two men are playing a round of golf at a local golf course.
During their game, a rather lengthy funeral procession passes by.

One of them is about to tee off when he notices the funeral procession. He stops, takes off his hat and places it over his heart. He does this until the funeral procession passes by.

His friend, having witnessed this, tells him that was the most remarkable gesture he has ever seen.

His friend looks up from his stance and says..."Well, I was married to her for 20 years its the least I could do".
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TigerLily
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:48 pm

*Takes notes*
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:28 pm

TigerLily wrote:
*Takes notes*

LMAO Not ALL men are that rutheless.....good luck finding the ones that aren't! lol2
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TigerLily
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:43 pm

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:
TigerLily wrote:
*Takes notes*

LMAO Not ALL men are that rutheless.....good luck finding the ones that aren't! lol2

I'm just prepping myself... just in case. A girl's got to be prepared. Nod
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:10 am

Nothing wrong with being prepared...I wish I would have been the 1st time around...lol
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GoGetEmTigers
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:34 am

So far most of the decent guys in my area are married! Lot's of idiots available, I wonder why?!


“It takes pitching, hitting and defense. Any two can win. All three make you unbeatable.”    
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TigerLily
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:37 am

GoGetEmTigers wrote:
So far most of the decent guys in my area are married! Lot's of idiots available, I wonder why?!

That IS a mystery. Suspect
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GoGetEmTigers
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:12 am

LMAO


“It takes pitching, hitting and defense. Any two can win. All three make you unbeatable.”    
–Joe Garagiola
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Wed Feb 27, 2008 1:11 pm

TigerLily wrote:
GoGetEmTigers wrote:
So far most of the decent guys in my area are married! Lot's of idiots available, I wonder why?!

That IS a mystery. Suspect

A Mystery??? Hmmm.....time to call in Scooby Doo and the gang! LMAO
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mrsrabelo
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Wed Feb 27, 2008 5:08 pm

GoGetEmTigers wrote:
So far most of the decent guys in my area are married! Lot's of idiots available, I wonder why?!

You mean there are ones that aren't idiots? scratch confused *is very confused* Big Smile
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GoGetEmTigers
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Wed Feb 27, 2008 5:18 pm

mrsrabelo wrote:
GoGetEmTigers wrote:
So far most of the decent guys in my area are married! Lot's of idiots available, I wonder why?!

You mean there are ones that aren't idiots? scratch confused *is very confused* Big Smile

high 5 LMAO


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iluvpudge7
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:56 pm

Ohios#1TigerFan wrote:
TigerLily wrote:
GoGetEmTigers wrote:
So far most of the decent guys in my area are married! Lot's of idiots available, I wonder why?!

That IS a mystery. Suspect

A Mystery??? Hmmm.....time to call in Scooby Doo and the gang! LMAO
And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids!!! lol
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:04 pm

LMAO
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:02 pm

Man those are funny. They weren't the first time I heard them though.
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Ohios#1TigerFan
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PostSubject: Re: Ladies, comebacks that you've always needed!   Thu Mar 06, 2008 11:15 am

Crossing the country, man and wife go without exchanging a word for miles. At a point they see some cows by the roadway.

"Your relatives?" jokes the man.

"Yes. My in-laws," answers the woman.
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