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 When I Was A Kid

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SoulRat
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PostSubject: When I Was A Kid   Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:35 pm

When I Was A Kid

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda. I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy theyíve got it. But now that Iím over the ripe old age of thirty, I canít help but look around and notice the youth of today. Youíve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you donít know how good youíve got it.

I mean, when I was a kid we didnít have the internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen. Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3ís or Napsters. You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself. Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ usually talked over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

And talk about hardship? You couldnít just download porn. You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of ďHustlerĒ at the 7-11. Those were your options!

We didnít have fancy crap like call waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal. Thatís it!

And we didnít have fancy caller ID Boxes either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didnít know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister.

We didnít have any fancy Sony Play station video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600 with games like ďSpace InvadersĒ and ďAsteroidsĒ and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square, you actually had to use your imagination, and there were no multiple levels or screens; it was just one screen forever and you could never win! The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died ... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height so if a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldnít see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing. You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what Iím saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brat-bastards!

And we didnít have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

Thatís exactly what Iím talking about. You kids today have got it too easy. Youíre spoiled. You guys wouldnít have lasted five minutes back in 1980!
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