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 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!

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swiss_tiger
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PostSubject: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:52 am

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Nite Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend.
32. Your underwear is ?10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If your 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanic tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near you pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just to skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work....more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding Dress ?2000; Tux rental ?100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when your talking to them.
79. ESPN's sports center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell you friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere
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gdennis59
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PostSubject: Re: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:34 am

wow, it amazes me how most of that is true, and the other some, well, kinda disgusting in a way
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iluvpudge7
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PostSubject: Re: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:28 pm

I'm especially jealous of #28, I would love to see men, just once, try to deal with eyeliner, mascara and curlers!!! They don't have to put their hair up on days when it comes out like Censored LOL
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SoulRat
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PostSubject: Re: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:43 pm

3. You know stuff about tanks.

O-M-G!! I thought that was only important to MY husband Rolling Eyes So what if you know about tanks?? But, everytime he sees one on tv, he feels the need to tell me all about it Sigh
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Casey21
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PostSubject: Re: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:07 pm

#38! OMG! Mrs Rabelo and I were watching Redneck Wedding on CMT and the guy proposed by peeing it in the snow! When they left the florist he peed his fiancee's name in the street! EEEEUUUUUWWWWW
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TG
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PostSubject: Re: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:43 pm

iluvpudge7 wrote:
I'm especially jealous of #28, I would love to see men, just once, try to deal with eyeliner, mascara and curlers!!! They don't have to put their hair up on days when it comes out like Censored LOL

that would be hilarious! At school one of my friends, who is a guy, makes fun of me some of the time when my hair is messed up... I yell at him it's like "you try it!"
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GoGetEmTigers
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Favorite Current Tiger(s) : JV, Hunter, Jackson, Porcello, Avila (really ALL of em!)
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PostSubject: Re: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:26 am

A Woman's response:

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. (I wish the guys I knew were like this! I could not get them to shut up!)

2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. ( Thank God, who wants to see some men's flabby bodies anyway... but with others, I feel equal rights are in order!)

3. You know stuff about tanks. (So do I, wish I had one to get back at some men)

4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. (And they wonder why ladies don't want near them by the 3rd day!)

5. Monday Nite Football. (Thank God, it keeps them busy and shuts them up)

6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives. (That's a lie, men are big gossips on how great they are, even if they are rotten lovers!)

7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. (Now if we could get them to hit the target without making a mess)

8. You can open all your own jars. (But they do not know what to do with the jars' ingredients once open, they expect the women to finish the job!)

9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight. (But they sure are thinking about it quietly)

10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind. (You want to bet on that one)

11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying. (No, you stop on every channel, to make sure you don't miss something)

12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. (But you make it your factor when you are the interviewer of women!)

13. All your orgasms are real. (If you can have one, Viagra... need I say more)

14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. (but it makes us have to fake orgasms!)

15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. (No they are the one being attacked, at least they now have more of their real teath than the other guys)

16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. (but you sure have your own stash of useless stuff at home)

17. You understand why stripes is funny. (we understand why your dressing yourself is funny)

18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group. (we only need support groups to go laugh at you guys)

19. Your last name stays put. (and you are proud of that? This too is changing)

20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. (so can we, but this habit just goes with your sloppy nature)

21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. (until you get fired)

22. You can kill your own food. (Then you are the ones who bring it home for the women to do the dirty work)

23. The garage is all yours. (yea, full of your useless junk you keep, just in case it is needed 50 years from now, then it is out of date!)

24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (only because it comes so few and far between)

25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment. (we see humor when you have terms of endearment)

26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. (no comment needed)

27. You never have to clean the toilet. (And this is a positive thing? you just wait until it quits working and buy a new one)

28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. (And it usually looks that way to everyone)

29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. (Until you need Viagra)

30. Wedding plans take care of themselves. (but don't worry, you will pay dearly over the years)

31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend. (but it always makes you wonder why you are so forgettable)

32. Your underwear is ?10 for a three pack. (and you try to make them last two weeks)

33. The National College Cheerleading Championship (does not take much to keep simple minds intertained)

34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry. (until they get your promotion)

35. You don't have to shave below your neck. (in many countries, women don't either. I just wish some men would learn how to shave correctly above the neck (just check some of the facial hair on the baseball players LMAO ))

36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite. (and you think we want to CRAZY )

37. If your 34 and single nobody notices. (That's what you think!)

38. You can write your name in the snow. (what a great talent to be proud of CRAZY )

39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. (and you are proud of this?)

40. Everything on your face stays its original color. (until you age!)

41. Chocolate is just another snack. (you poor guys)

42. You can be president. (and prove what a fool you really are)

43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. (That's news to me, you are normally sleeping and snoring)

44. Flowers fix everything. (yea, like the broken stuff in the house that you try to fix, and then we have to hire an expert to put it back together again!)

45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. (and then wonder why the divorce rate is so high)

46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. (Thankfully God corrected that mistake when he created woman!)

47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. (Yet if yours gets wet, everyone else gets sick looking at flab rolls)

48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough. (I have seen some men with more shoes than most women!)

49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. (and... this is a positive???)

50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think. (In your dreams!)

And that is just for the first 50!


“It takes pitching, hitting and defense. Any two can win. All three make you unbeatable.”    
–Joe Garagiola


Last edited by GoGetEmTigers on Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
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TG
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PostSubject: Re: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:09 am

#22... so can I!! It's called hunting with your dad and brother... they teach you.
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TG
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PostSubject: Re: 100 reasons it's great to be a guy!   Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:10 am

LMAO gogetem..
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